Top Eight Items You Need to Commute on the NYC Subway

Hi everyone!  Hope you are having a great week so far!  Today is Day 3 of the Mini Blog Challenge hosted by Joi over at RxFitnessLady.  Before delving into today’s prompt let’s all give Joi a little love for hosting this.  It’s no walk in the park and she’s doing an awesome job!  Thanks Joi!

 

So today’s assignment is a humorous post.  The thing is . . . I’m not funny.  At all.  Now, Charlotte over at Commitness to Fitness, she is FUNNY!  I highly recommend checking out her blog if you are looking for humor.  But I committed to this challenge so I’m going to give it a go.  I’m hoping I can get you to crack at least a lopsided smile! 

 

Sometimes when I’m going about my day and minding my own business, I have this total moment where I see something and think “Only in NYC.”  Well, only in NYC would you need any of these items when you commute to work, but as a loyal subway rider for many years now, I can attest you need each and every one of these eight items.  Keep reading to find out what they are!

 

 

1.  Your purse, your gym bag, your lunch bag, your “extras” bag, and your bag for groceries you’ll get on the way home.  Don’t worry about looking like a bag lady.  You will get understanding nods from other women on the subway. These are your weapons against the businessman who “accidentally” nudges (cross out) smacks you with his backpack trying to make his commuter train (cross out) narcsisitically move through the crowd.  They will also offer you supreme protection from the sardine phenomenon, which will inevitably happen when it is 95 degrees out with 100 percent humidity. 

 

2. Earplugs, nose plugs, large sunglasses and a shower cap.  To avoid hearing the “hail jesus” lady.  To avoid smelling the homeless man.  To avoid contact with anyone.  To protect your head from unspecified drips coming from the subway ceiling.

 

 

3.  Snacks.  Yes you are only going two stops but there will be “train traffic delays” you see, from that other train that came by the station 15 minutes prior to your train.  You’ll get hungry waiting for this “traffic” to move.

 

4.  A walker, cane or fake pregnancy bump.  To get a seat, obviously.

 

5.  Steel toe boots.  If you wear sandals your toes were asking to get stepped on.  Plus, you clearly put your toes in the way of that other person’s shoe.  Duh.

 

6.  Money.  For the taxi you will need to take when you realize your train will not be on time and when it gets to the station it will already be packed and no one will be able to get on.

 

 

7.  Money in credit card form only.  Because if you do actually get on the train, you don’t want to be forced to give it all away to the hip hop dancers, mariarchi band or the guy who is just begging.  

 

8.  A phone that gets cell coverage underground.  A personal space bubble.  A lucky leprechaun that always makes the train run on time.  These items are essential to a comfortable train commute.  But your more likely to take a helicopter to work and land on your building’s helipad than have any of these things.